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We must let children learn consequences of their actions
Occasionally, we hear just the opposite, "Hey, I don't call you with my problems at home; don't call me when my child acts up at school." Or, "My child didn't do it, I know because I asked him and my child wouldn't lie to me." More often than not we have positive support from moms and dads. But, it is very difficult to permit someone else to discipline our children. We feel that protective urge sweep over us and want to run to the rescue of our child. However, rescuing them from the consequences of their actions teaches them false lessons: I can make mistakes and not suffer the consequences. Charles Swindoll speaks of teaching children practical lessons in his book "The Strong Family." He advises us that, "Adolescents must be given room to make up their own minds and make their own mistakes. You've got to give them room; even if that means they fail. Your counsel is valuable. Your support is valuable. Your influence is valuable. But taking your hand away and letting them walk on their own two feet is also valuable. And you must do that if they are ever to learn to walk." Remember learning to walk means we often fall down. Falling down is seldom fatal, sometimes painful and occasionally bruising, but we usually recover from our own self-inflicted setbacks. It is in this vein that I offer some thoughts on the effect consequences may have on your child. If your child has ever bumped his arm against a hot stove, you can bet he'll never deliberately do that again. He does not become a more violent person because the stove burnt him; in fact, he learned a valuable lesson from the pain. Similarly, when he falls out of his bed or smashes his finger in the door or is bitten by a grumpy dog, he learns about physical dangers in his world. These bumps and bruises throughout childhood are nature's way of teaching him what to fear and they do not damage self-esteem. They do not make him vicious, but they merely acquaint him with reality. In like manner, an appropriate spanking from a loving parent, coach or principal provides the same reinforcement. It tells him/her there are not only physical dangers to be avoided, but that he must steer clear of some social traps including selfishness, defiance, dishonesty, unprovoked aggression. It is a loving hand that turns a child away from foolishness, not a lax hand. +++ Once again I want you to remember, you are always welcome in Troup I.S.D. We never have and never will forget that they are your children, it is your school and it is all your tax money that makes everything we do possible. |
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