Beating the Heck Out of Fear


It all started because I asked what topic would be appropriate for a speaking moment. You never know what a particular group of people might be interested in unless you ask.

“Can you speak on struggling with anxiety?”

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I am an expert on sin. But, in that moment a light bulb went off: I am also an expert on fear.

How do I know? Well, whenever I ask for prayer, which is often, it’s almost always because I am about to do something I feel God wants me to do. Usually, it’s something I’ve never done before and I am petrified.

Instantly, I knew anxiety was a topic I needed to study and speak on for my own peace of mind. Then, naturally, my mind went numb and I had no idea what to say. So, I stumbled through the talk with an audience that probably went home more confused than me. To their credit, I got some terrific questions out of that smart, capable group of women and now I am smarter than ever because they inspired me so much.

Anxiety is only the tip of the iceberg. There’s dread, trepidation, distress, consternation, alarm, caution and even reverence, which is another whole column, I guess. There’s healthy fear and unhealthy fear.

How can we beat the heck out of fear? That’s what I want to know. Fear can short-circuit all our relationships, especially our marriage. The first step is to recognize what our responses to fear really mean. Turns out we can have a whole new way of understanding our own responses to fear. You can sign up for my blog on my website for tons more info.

Freeze, flee, or fight, which one are you? Your spouse? Your kids? Since we all respond differently, understanding how each member of your family responds frees us all up. Wow! This is going to increase our relationship super-powers exponentially!

Even more than sharing my own discoveries, I’d love to hear from you. What have you learned about fear in your life? Any good tips or stories you would share to help others? Finally, fear is such a personal topic, may I pray for you? Dear God who sees us, You understand the places where we hurt. You understand what fear is because You designed it to warn us of danger. You love us and comfort us even when anxiety makes us a little crazy and confused. Bless this dear one now with wisdom and a peaceful inner spirit, even where it hurts. Teach us to cling to You and to be brave. Give us clarity and patience when our loved ones are afraid. We praise You because You are strong in our weakness. You never fail. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Sign up for her blog at


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